When Life Hits You... HARD!
Welcome back babes!
If you’re new here, WELCOME! This blog is meant to be a safe space to share my journey through life as a young 20-something woman living in a big city. I share everything from beauty tips to how I navigate this crazy this thing called life.
I haven’t been writing so much about my personal life because I’m so used to bottling everything up that it’s almost hard for me to put my thoughts into words. I’m literally shaking writing this right now but here we are... making progress.
Shit is about to get real...
Recently, I had the opportunity to spend some quality time with my dad (someone I haven’t seen in over 2 years) and it honestly couldn’t have happened at a better time. Why? Tbh, my life was in complete disarray with no clear direction of where to head next. I had just lost my job and on top of that, I had nowhere to call home. For a Capricorn with their moon in Pisces, this was absolutely DEVASTATING! If you’re not into astrology and all that it simply means -
“The moon rules your emotions, moods, and feelings. This is likely the sign you most think of yourself as, since it reflects your personality when you're alone or deeply comfortable. Since my Moon is in Pisces, my emotional self is empathetic, dreamy, sensitive, and gentle.
It's in my second house, meaning I find security and safety through money and material possessions. And if you have any caps in your life, you’d know that Capricorns are fundamentally responsible, serious, efficient, and rational.”
So imagine having none of those things...
I felt out of control. I honestly felt as if my life was completely over.
There weren’t much people to lean on because I’ve basically cut everyone out of my life. Then I began feeling self conscious about opening up to the ones that were around... so there goes my egotistical dilemma. This had to have been the lowest I’ve ever felt in my life.
Then my dad flew in for a show and naturally I broke down and told him everything. I had been so fearful about what his response would be because let’s be honest, no one wants to disappoint their parents and at that point, I felt like the BIGGEST disappointment. Luckily, I have a pretty cool dad and instead of feeling like such a failure at life, he made me feel as if this was just an obstacle I had to overcome to get to the next level. Of course, he is Jamaican so we couldn’t get there without a little scolding but he was gentle haha! Having that time to actually talk about experiences and thoughts with him was one of best moments we’ve shared to date.
Yes, I was still in the same situation. Yes, I still felt lost. Yes, I still had no idea what to do with myself but at that point, my perspective was changed. I knew that even though I was going through this really tough time in my life, I could still get through it... even if that means starting all over. It’s better to start over than to give up and for me, giving up was just not an option.
Everyday is a battle. Everyday is a fight ... a fight with myself, a fight with the world but I have to push through.
This was really hard for me to write so thank you guys for actually reading and if you’ve been through something similar or can relate on some level, don’t be scared to share your story in the comments below ❤️
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